The Guy Code

I was lucky enough to catch up with a college friend this afternoon. He and his family live in Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, like many of my college friends, I've lost touch with him. He and I had not spoken for a couple years. We talked about our respective families and jobs. His son is a couple months older than my daughter, Cassie so we compared development a bit. I got off the phone after about 45 minutes. We ended up with the usual guy stuff (read NFL football). I would say there was nothing at all unusual about the conversation.

I got off the phone and Elizabeth, my wife, asked me a few questions. I couldn't answer many of the questions she posed. For instance she asked how my friends liked the area where they lived. I don't know. I care and am genuinely interested in information like that but I just don't think to ask many of the questions that she might ask. I've known many of my friends since the early 90s, but I've rarely thought to ask for that information. Guys talk about sports, politics, computers, or the weather. It would be great to say that this is my failing, but it appears that I'm quite normal at least in this one area.

My role models (uncles, father, stepfather and others) tend to keep conversations on a very safe level. It appears to me that if you are not Dr. Phil talking about anything else is against the guy code. It does not mean that we are not interested in the lives of our friends, simply that we are not conditioned to ask for information that is not being offered.