It's funny when she's 4.

Cassie, my daughter, and I went on our regular weekend breakfast date today. It's a beautiful, clear low 80s day here in South Florida. As we entered the diner all was normal. We sat in a booth no different than any of the others. Cassie sat on one side of the table and I, the other.

I ordered french toast for her and pancakes and eggs for myself. Dear reader, this is a boring post so far. I promise it gets better.

We're sitting there coloring at the table. Her coloring is getting better, but I have to say that mine is as well. Breakfast is served. To drink I had coffee and orange juice, and milk for her. Don't tell anybody, but Cassie loves coffee (I let her have some). As we ate Cassie had about as much coffee as I was willing to allow, so I looked at her and said " Cassie, you know that coffee puts hair on your chest."

This is a statement an uncle of mine used to say, and that I believed. I thought, maybe it would work and stop Cassie from drinking the coffee. Well, I was right and I was wrong.

Cassie cocked her head to the side and looked at me quizzically. She lifted up her shirt and pointed to her chest and said " Daddy, I don't have hair on my chest."


It's a good thing we're regulars.

Daddy Daughter Time

Cassie remembers minute details of events that I would never even think about. Sometimes it is easier to focus on things as a youngster than it is as an adult. Unfortunately, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve begun to take certain things for granted. Just recently, I asked my students to write a paper on who or what they are thankful for. On occasion I think it is important to try my own assignments, so here goes.
Ever since we moved in to our current house, I have gone to a nearby diner and picked up breakfast for the 2 or 3 of us. This is almost a weekly occurrence. In that time, I’ve come to know most of the staff at least by sight and a few by name. As she has grown Cassie has learned of this diner. She knows that if she wants breakfast on the weekend that this establishment is always a possibility.
Periodically, I try to give Elizabeth a break on the weekends. She does so much more than I do around the house normally, so on occasion I take our daughter, Cassie, to breakfast. This allows Elizabeth to stretch out or sleep in a bit while we are gone. Cassie has gotten to the age where this is really not that difficult. Not to mention that everyone seems to benefit.
Recently, Cassie has started asking to go to this restaurant with me, but without Elizabeth, more and more frequently. She looks forward to this as one of the highlights of her week. As many of you might agree the economic downturn has made employment more tenuous, even for schoolteachers such as myself. As the work situation has deteriorated, I’ve had to focus on the other parts of my life a bit more.
Recently Cassie and I were at the diner in question. We were sharing crayons and drawing in a coloring book as we waited for our breakfast. By the way, Cassie appears to stay in the lines better than I do. We had already said our hellos to various wait staff and were just talking about the nothings that pass as normal conversation in families with small children. As we sat there, I drinking my coffee, Cassie her apple juice, she looks under the table. I thought maybe a crayon had hit the floor. She looked up quizzically, and said: ‘Daddy there is gum under the table’. Thankfully, I didn’t think about this observation very long, I simply said: They are dirty don’t touch them. There are things you do not think about going through life, Gum under tables fits in that category.
Every so often I go to sporting events, like Heat games or Dolphin games. These events are much more glamorous. In the long run however, weekend breakfast with my daughter is a much better event. I’m a middle-aged dad there are worse things. I’ve often wondered how to tell grownups from children, maybe I’ve stumbled upon one of the indicators.
I’m very lucky to have a wonderful wife and daughter. Elizabeth is able to keep me together enough to get me where I need to be. Without her I would probably lose my head. She handles many of the household responsibilities that I wouldn’t know how to do at all. She also takes care of Cassie much of time. Because of this, I feel she needs a bit of down time on occasion during the weekend. Not to mention, she allows me to disappear for sporting events periodically.

Don’t tell Elizabeth, but I kind of like those weekend meals as much as my daughter. As we left, Cassie told me to finish my breakfast.

Those Four Little Words

Most people have a few common experiences. One of these experiences is to think that they will do things differently than their parents did, in terms of raising children. In this way Elizabeth and I are no different. During childhood, most people conclude that they could parent better than they themselves were parented. Sorry, Mom, but I had always imagined that there were certain things you did, that I could do better.

When Cassie was a newborn, I was going to be the best parent. Does this sound familiar, anyone? I would run to the nearest Walgreen's for anything (diaper's, wipes, Boudreaux's, Mylicon, etc.). Whenever she had the slightest problem we were going to be on top of it. I continued thinking that I could parent better than I myself was parented.


Sorry Mom, but that is what I thought. As I look back it was obvious for all to see that I knew nothing of this parenting gig. We got help from both parents and got advice from everyone under the sun. As Cassie began to understand and communicate we told her what to do, and generally she complied, if necessary with assistance.

For instance, when bath time rolls around we have various strategies to either get Cassie into or out of said bath. Yes, I did say...or out of.... sometimes coercion is used, or bribery, or even some sort of reasoning/bargaining. These tools/tactics/strategies can be used for any number of different activities. These are all things that my parents at some point did with me.

Both Elizabeth and I have always tried to avoid, and still try to avoid, using brute force. This is still a good policy. Recently, however many of these tactics have stopped working. So I have now learned something in my parenting style, as anyone in my group should know. As was done with me, so shall I do to mine. If all else fails in parenting Cassie, I can break out those four little words... Because I Said So.

Open Minds and Wrinkled Noses

Yesterday, we were all sitting at breakfast. I was eating a Spanish omelet, my wife, Elizabeth, was eating eggs over easy, and my daughter, Cassie, was eating her usual French toast with syrup. As Cassie started to put catsup on the French toast, I began to wonder what was wrong in the world that had brought us to this point. As you all can see our two year old is very open to new and truly disgusting things.

What exactly is the problem with catsup on pancakes? Cassie really likes pancakes. Whenever we go out for breakfast she seems very happy with pancakes and syrup. They are generally considered a treat, and a weekend specialty. Maple syrup, maybe bananas, or some sort of berry mixed in, the old fashioned flapjack, or the fancy restaurant style it makes no difference.

Catsup is also a big hit. As with many children, it is the condiment of choice for burgers, fries, and nuggets. Our niece was once asked what she wanted for lunch. She responded “catsup”. My mother thinking that the four year old might not have understood asked the question again asking what she wanted for a main course. Our niece made it perfectly clear that she did not care what type of food it was on catsup was the key to her happiness at this specific meal. I do not have a problem with either food item; it is the combination that bothers me.

A two year old might figure that it seems like a good idea, so lets try it. That appears to me to be a problem solved by experience. This is a problem of Cassie choosing style over substance. It sure seemed like a good idea. She really likes both catsup, and pancakes; therefore they probably go well together. I appreciate the open-mindedness; thankfully she wrinkled her nose at the actual taste combination.

Has your love life made you want to go to the bathroom?

Last weekend, we were going to a party for my daughter Cassandra. One of my brothers in law threw a party as a combination housewarming/kids party. It is quite a house, and they know how to throw a party. Everyone of us were psyched for the upcoming events.
My daughter Cassie spilled a drink all over herself, as we were getting ready to leave. This caused us to be running late. Finally, we get going. Not surprisingly, there was a significant amount of traffic on I95 going down there. At one point, my wife Elizabeth responded to a bumper sticker she saw on one remarkably poorly driven car, saying " Jesus would cut you off, that's what he'd do.” Not surprisingly, that is exactly what she did.
We arrived at the party, already in full swing. There were about 10 toddlers and 25 adults. My brother-in-laws back yard is very large. It is also laid out to best accommodate children. Almost as if a team of 6 year olds came in and laid out the whole yard. It was a circus themed party. For the kids there was a clown, a magician and a cotton candy machine.
These were in addition to the permanent features in the yard. There is a beautiful deck for the adults, along with a great climbing tree, an arts and crafts area, and a slide/jungle gym combo for the kids. Suffice it to say, this place was decked out to be "the place" for the under 6 crowd. Everyone was enjoying himself or herself.
My daughter, Cassie was running around with some of the children, climbing around, painting, and sliding among other things. The things kids do to enjoy themselves. Well, after a bit of time, one of the mothers noted to Elizabeth and me that Max has taken a shine to Cassie. Elizabeth and I look for Cassie. There she is playing with a little boy, 18 months, who was hugging her, kissing her and being generally affectionate. As we are laughing amongst ourselves, we notice that everywhere she goes, Max follows. Can you believe that Max is already trying to get a girlfriend, and he's not even in a "big boy bed"? Does this mean that Cassie is robbing the cradle?
After the initial amusement factor wears off, my mind's eye starts to wander. If boys are already after her, what is her curfew going to be in nursery school? What exactly will I need to contend with when she gets to 1st grade? I might need that Valium drip sooner than high school if this keeps up.
Thankfully, everyone enjoyed the party. We say our goodbyes, and go home. Two days later, Cassie expresses to Elizabeth that she is ready to start potty training. This is welcome news for all of us. This however raises two questions. Does Cassie think that being potty trained will give her an edge in the toddler social scene? Or more likely, does she feel the need to get Max totally out of her system in the quickest fashion possible?